Komal Diaries

You think you are so perfect. You think you have it all figured out. A high-paying job, some good connections, living in a rented apartment with a breathtaking city light view of the skyscrapers from the balcony whose rent goes out of your own pockets. You earn, you spend, and live your life in an illusional bubble of mature and responsible adult life and suddenly you cross paths with someone who makes a hole in that bubble with the rays of reality. He shines so bright and the rays hit so hard in the beginning that you feel the burn, you fight and resist to hold onto that bubble but slowly and gradually the walls start to melt.

He pushes you out and you are so angry at him. You get cold and there is so much of resistance, but he keeps his patience and never lets go of your hand.

As the bubble completely melts, you see that person more clearly now. The way he prioritizes all your important things despite having a bundle of unattended tasks of his own.

The way he fights to move mountains that comes in the way of you coming closer to him.

His consistency and determination to lead a disciplined and healthy life not for himself, but for you and his family just so that he can be capable of standing like a rock when life takes difficult turns.

You see his beautiful mind full of knowledge on anything and everything, you name it but still yearns to know every single thing that could be known about you.

And you realize that such is your husband who has so much to offer.

Yes, he melts away your comfortable bubble filled with rigid delusions but welcomes you into a vast universe filled with love, warmth, support, appreciation and abundant learning.

You wake up to reality but this reality does not feel as scary as you had imagined it to be. You give a try to embrace it and soon realise that this reality is better that the stiff bubble wrapped in layers of lies which you had been telling yourself that you were cozy and comfortable but actually you were just restricting yourself from being open and then he arrives, your knight in shining armour, and sets you free from your own cage and you explore this beautiful reality together hand in hand and when you look back, you realise how beautifully you have blossomed in his rays from the bud that refused to grow.

It was a bright sunny morning on 12th of May when the warm sunlight filled my room through the windows causing me to wake up from my slumber and I opened my
eyes.

The beautiful sunshine that day not only carried light but also, hope and happiness of new beginnings. So with a smile I sat up and thanked god for this beautiful day. Today marked the beginning of me and Vaidik’s new forever. Today was our Gol-Dhana (Roka).

As I was getting ready for the ceremony in my room where I had spent 15 years of my life, I slowly started to realise that today also marks the beginning of the slow and painful farewell of my old life.

This room had been my best friend all my life until now. It has seen , studying all night for my exams, it has seen me laughing my heart out with my friends, it has heard me crying myself to sleep on sad days and witnessed other countless memories.

Finally when I was ready for my Gol-Dhana in my red suit and straightened hair. I looked into the mirror of the dressing table which belonged to my mother. In the mirror I could see the 7-year-old Komal playing house with her imaginary husband wearing dupatta as saree. She used to play this every day in afternoon right after coming from school while mummy slept nearby.

I could no longer hold my tears and a drop came rolling down my cheek and filled my heart with warmth remembering that 7-year-old me who had manifested her wedding every single day is coming true now.

It felt as if the dressing table was telling me to stop and hold on to that moment. It has seen me grow from a little girl playing with dolls to the woman getting ready for her roka. It felt as if it was telling me that I grew up too quickly and wish it could bring back those innocent times back.

Embracing these bittersweet emotions, I stepped out into the living room of my
house where the arrangements of the ceremony was set up. Both my families (my forever family and my new family from Anand) was present in the room and Vaidik joined on video call. We had set up the call on TV and I could see him in Orangish-red Kurta on the screen waving at me and I waved him back.

The ceremony started with Dipak Bapuji chanting the shlokas and finally me and Vaidik were entwined together into a sacred relation in the presence of gods. It completed with all the family members feeding us Gud (Jaggery) and Dhana (Coriander seeds) to mark the beautiful beginning with a sweet taste to reminisce.

You must have been taught in schools to keep an open mind and not judge anybody. But all these teachings are thrown down the drain when it comes to arranged marriage.

So, just like every other family, our families too told us to talk to each other every day and judge!

And the game began.

We used to talk everyday for hours on calls. I was practically living in India but in the Canadian time zone.

Although I wasn’t keeping scored but if you really insist, I could lay it down for you.

So, here is how I judged:

Similarity in choices – 0

Compatibility – 0

Sense of humor – 1ish maybe?

He might have shitty scores in the above areas but when it comes to the kind of human being he is, he is a chef’s kiss 10.

He might not like my favorite Netflix series but is kind enough to endure the show for me.

He might not understand why my emotions suddenly change, but he is caring and sensitive enough to try to understand my perspective and value it.

I came to realize that keeping scores does not matter. What matters is a partner who is patient enough to let you take your time and will walk at the same pace as you even if it means losing the game.

So just like that, in 10 days, I was sure about him.

Usually we try to look our best when we are talking to our potential arrange marriage partner for the first time. But that day, I looked my worst.

We were in different countries and the only possible way to meet was online. I was hoping the call would be next morning when I would have washed my hair, put on a bright top & probably leave him hoping “Oh! I want this beauty!” but life had other plans.

So there I was at 11 pm in my faded blue shirt, with sleep In my eyes and oil in my hair when his video call came.

It was around 1:30 pm in Canada and he was on his way to his cousin’s place but he parked his car on the side and “the moment” began.

Ten minutes later when the conversation ended, the tiredness was gone and I was feeling a rush of energy inside.

Lost in the memories of his tousled hair and playful smile, surprisingly it struck me in Bold Black Letters: “HE IS THE ONE”.